I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
