a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
