Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
