I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
