why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
