***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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