Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
