Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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