Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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