Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
