Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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