There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
this will be a night to untag.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
