I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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