You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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