Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
