Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
