That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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