I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
A bitchslap is in order.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
