That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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