Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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