I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
