The beer is more important than you right now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
