Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
two words: eviction party
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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