There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
