OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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