Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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