Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
