I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize