don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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