belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
