Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
