i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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