i think i have two assholes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i think my cat just said my name.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
