You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
