My first STD was from a foam party
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
