found the other keg... it's in the tree
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Randomize
