Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
