I can tuck mytits in my pants
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
