I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
