I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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