So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
