Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
