Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
