You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize