I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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