Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
