4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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