Fuck appropriateness.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
