i jhust puked up my retainher.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
