So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
