my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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