If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
