just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
