So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
