I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
