roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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