You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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