in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So vagazzling was a success
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
