The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
