god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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