Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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