I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
