Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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