whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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