He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize