you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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