just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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