I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
