Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I need moral support for this bender
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
